Panelefranfico
***
Dream Journal

melt.html

artist unknown

Notes



14th June 2020

Running around a woods with my sister, we're doing laps around the grounds of a huge manor house. There's an old man who seems friendly and we talk to him.

There's a battle at a castle. Two tall walls face each other inside the building, with a river running inbetween them - separating the two sides of the fight. Ladders are put across by both sides in attempts to cross but people knock them down. I take a ladder laid down across the walls and carry it back into a calmer part of the castle, where I meet a man who says "I has but 40 minutes to live, I must go.", before diving into the river running between the two walls and is pulled into an underwater hole in the rocky river bed which empties into a waterfall.

I look over the top of the mound covering the end of the falls and see an enormous lake. All thoughts of the fight are forgotten and I watch the water gently lap the sides of the shore as a soft amber light catches on the fall's mist and bathes the lake in a cool warmth.

On the shore I think I see a coffin, I assume it must be of the man who threw himself down the waterfall. After clambering down the sides of the cliff separating the castle and the lake I reach the coffin only to find it's just driftwood.

I decide to wander around the lake, the waterfall was barely audible from the distance I'd reached at this point. There was what appeared to be a light grey mist over a hill, I went up to it and poked my head in to investigate, but the mist turned out to be just an infinite drop into nothing against a grey/white cloudy backdrop. [Note]

7th/11th June 2020

A topless woman cradles an enourmous maggot in her arms, it crawls across her. It bites her armpits and they appear crusted dry and disgusting.

Chopping down an old vine on a trellis in my garden. I remove a section and it's dead and rotten inside, people behind me ask why I chopped it off and I explain that it's rotten and point at the dead plant in my hand. A past lover talks to me and I talk to her as we once did. I am uninterested. [Note]

6th June 2020

I'm at home and decide to go on a walk to my secondary school out of boredom. It's the last day of school and there are people everywhere, I wander past the science block and remember the classes I had there once. I go to my old maths classroom in the elliot huts by the field, where I meet Owen and other people who I've not seen for a long time.

It's now the end of the day and I start walking back home along the backlane. The path is wider than usual and there's a concealed junction where car's are driving out of and down the path. I see a gate down the lane with a car parked behind. I take no notice at first and more cars pull out from the junction as they were before, then suddenly a larger car like a jeep accelerates into the parked car at the gate and smashes it into the wall.

I rush over to see if the drivers are hurt, but before I can check a man gets out from the jeep, gun drawn on me and orders me to put my hands against the car. "I really just want to get past cmon man I'm just going home." I say, but the gun is jabbed at the air in a motion to imply that he's not fucking around so I comply. Next I think I'm either injected with / I have to eat a small marble like sphere before I'm allowed to continue home. There is another person with me who has to do the same, they were not far behind me when the car was rammed. (Strangely I had a dream before this where a metal marble was under the skin in my left forearm that I had to squeeze out.)

I walk down the path further, until I get to the car crash and I see a woman in the car that was hit. I talk to her whilst walking past, not looking at her as to not make it obvious that I'm making conversation, so as to not catch the attention of the gunman. She explains that the sphere is like mind control and once you injest it you slowly become like the gunman who attacked her, and how she was trying to run from those 'infected' by the spheres.

She gets out and walks with me once we're out of site of the crash. I ask her if it's possible to vomit the sphere up, she replies:
"Maybe. It's definitely worth trying."
I stick my fingers down my throat and start vomiting but have to stop as another man comes kayaking down the path. (Partially submerged in the concrete.) Considering he could be a spy for the spheres, I stop as to not draw his attention. [Note]

29th May 2020

Me and a friend are being trained by a secret organisation, we're instructed to make our way up to the top floor of a high rise to retrieve a girl. Once we reach the top floor we see it is dark and run-down, smashed furniture lies around and mould covers the walls. The corridor makes a T junction. We approach the end of the T slowly, the girl stands in the center of the junction and we call out to her, she is staring directly downwards and makes no response to our calls.

As we approach she slowly walks around the right of the junction out of sight. Again we call out to her to stop her but she does not listen. I stick my head around the junction, looking at the girl I can just make out her silhouette in the dark. My friend exclaims "what the fuck is that" and I turn to see another silhouette at the end of the left arm of the junction. This one is staring directly towards us. There is a pause before it jitters towards us at an inhuman speed and we run back to the staircase we'd come from.

Once we'd returned to the stairwell, we discuss our options and decide to return but bring a torch to see what's going on. On returning, using the torch we see a dessicated figure lying on the ground and the moving silhouette stands again at the end of the corridor. I run at it yelling and waving the torch, it runs away and hides behind a modern looking bin, which I then kick multiple times to crush the jittery silhouette against the wall.

Having dealt with the jittery silhouette, I found an old door which was nearly rusted shut. After some force I pry it open and light pours into the dusty corridor, illuminating the ruined walls and the dust which spun in the air from the recent disturbance. Outside is what looks like an abandoned children's play area, it's heavily overgrown and the paint is all faded to pastel colours. There is a balcony that looks out from the top of the high rise. I look back into the corridor, and see my friend talking to the girl who was previously in a trance. The girl and I make eye contact and she waves and we exchange smiles. [Note]

27th May 2020

I'm walking across a desert in a post-apocalyptic setting. A dust storm approaches me and a raider, who is making ground on me, but is still some distance away. I think I can get to the storm before he can catch up to me, where his robot strength won't work but neither would my laser rifle. The storm soon ungulfs us, I feel light headed and pass out. I have a dream whilst unconscious which was initially not obviously a dream:

A girl and I are walking around a large shopping complex. She shows me a tiny elevator meant for the elderly to move between the floors of the store. We decide it'd be fun to get in. It is very fast and I say: "Wow imagine getting in that if your 70" as the extreme acceleration pulls on my body. Later I'm at home and a masked man (Who's backstory was explained in a parallel dream.) comes in and smashes a lightbulb filled with coronavirus in my house. A green cloud fills the air and I look at my parents worriedly, concerned for their health. I have a vision of a strange cartoonish view of me and my sister caring for my parents in sick beds.

I wake from the dream, still ungulfed by the storm. The raider stands over me, his height much greater than my own. I aim my laser in case it still has charge but the storm has disabled it. We exchange blows, I with the but of my rifle at his helmeted head (a black old knight helmet) and he with fists which never land on me as I was able to dodge them. I eventually knock him and start landing successive blows against his head as he stumbles, he falls and I continue hitting.

His helmet comes off and beneath it is Micheal Jackson, the fight stops and we remember we're actually filming a movie. We look at each other and crease up because the whole situation is so bizarre. [Note]

20th May 2020

I'm in a car park and invite an aquaintance over to meet. It late in the evening and quite dark. I pull large bookshelves out of the ground to create a fake library. I then pull a book from one of the shelves and hand it to her, she asks what it is and I tell her it's a cursed book of some description. I then pretend to be vampire, and she gets scared and runs away.

In my house and I walk into my parents room and see there is a dressing room. I walk into it and look around. There are old chairs tucked into corners and some of my Dad's shirts are hung up, I feel like I recognise many of the items lying around from childhood. There are also old computers covered in cloth. I keep walking through the dressing room, which has many dividers and is almost maze like. I reach a room that has a mirror and a sink, and I assume this must be where my dad gets ready for work, as I've never seen him prepare to leave for work before. I stand in the mirror and pretend to brush my teeth.

I walk down a corridor with many rooms with different scenes. One is a chemistry class room where the teacher is talking to the class, another is a bedroom with a young couple having sex and another is a storage cupboard with two men smoking - all interspersed between many bathrooms. I walk down to the end of the corridor and eventually reach the end and begin the walk back.

Other things remembered: Flat white spots on face which were easily popped. [Note]

11th May 2020

I'm walking in the woods with my family and an acquaintance sends me a nude, I reply saying that I can't respond right now. Next we're driving back from the woods and I ask to pull over in a layby with a path up a hill next to the road, where there's a lamppost that's been cut in half. I get out and walk up to it, reach into it and splash the colourful water inside of it onto my hands because they felt clammy.

I look down from the path at the road and see my family hurriedly driving over to a road sign. They stop the car and my Mum gets out and looks at boxes on the ground, she lifts one up and a dog gets out from underneath. She looks surprised and lifts another to reveal a tortoise. My sister is walking down the road to catch up with the car, I shout down to her and tell her she should be walking on the path I'm on to get to the car, she insists it is fine to walk on the road. [Note]

8th May 2020

This dream is set in a simulation and I'm a girl. - I'm on a train with freinds and someone makes a comment on how packed the train is. We arrive at a plane and board. During the flight, the engine fails, the plane crashes and we're all killed. I awake and we're back in the plane and I know that I'm the only one who can fix the engine this time so I descend into the lower levels of the plane making an attempt to repair it, there are many stories and everything is coated in a dark brown rust.

A tall translucent man is following me. I realise in order to repair the plane I have to descend further. I reach a level with clean well lit office corridors. The man is still following me. Fealing uneasy, I run from the man but he catches me and picks me up by the hair and punches through my skull, collapsing my maxilla into my parietal bone. I watch from his POV. I awake again at the start of a long corridor, there is a slope not far from the beggining, where an old nurse holding a clipboard, the translucent man wearing a trenchcoat and I are stood.

The nurse tells me I have to go down the corridor to get help, I comply and she follows not far behind me. I realise I'm wearing a white gown and the corridor has a sterile white feeling as if it was a psychiatric institute. I turn a corner and the corridors split into many as the office corridors did but with this new sterile look. Im panicking because I know the translucent man is coming for me but there is nowhere to hide in the austere environment, I run but the translucent man once again catches me and I once again watch the POV of him punching through my head.

I awaken again at the start of the long corridor with the nurse and the transcluent man, except now the corridor seems slightly dirtier than before and my feet and the tiled floor are slippery with my blood and with dirty water. I'm terrified as we start to walk down the corridor again, i grab the nurse screaming into her face demanding she let me out. I punch her in the face and we slip down the slope I'd since forgotten, our heads hit the ground. I'm dazed and the nurse is covered in blood, I start limping down the corridor away from the transculent man. He follows at a walking pace just faster than mine to make ground. He has no face, but I can see his rage as he closes in on me. [Note]

6th May 2020

Going out into Falmouth for first time in a while with a group of friends, we park in a carpark infront of a large apartment block. I realise I am missing something and have to head back to grab it. I head inside the large building and seal what I needed inside a cardboard box using staples. A dim, pale, yellowish light fills the corridors. There are cleaning staff walking around the building and they all have very somber expressions.

I text Morgan to see what he's up to. I recieve a text written by someone else from his phone saying he's busy and asking if they can pass a message to him. I assume the person from their writing style.

Mum and Dad talking stood next to a train track, they are trying to repair part of the bridge. Mum is trying to ask Dad to help fix the bridge but Dad does not want to help with the repairs. A car is parked on the tracks in the distance. A second car is visible, also parked on the tracks. Note there is no apparent danger of trains coming to hit the cars. [Note]

5th May 2020

Waiting at platform at train station with someone. We're having a conversation to pass time. A train arrives and a crowd amasses ready to board. The person I'm with gets on the train and asks the driver if the train is the correct one for the tickets that we have which where for somewhere in London. I text my Mum letting her know that the train has arrived and I'm boarding, but as I look up I see the doors closing and I worry that the train might leave without me. [Note]

20th April 2020

Me, Morgan and another girl are crawling up the hill to my house on all fours, but with legs and arms splayed outwards like a spiders. It's night time and there are no other people around. The girl is lagging behind me and Morgan on the hill. We decide we want to enter someones house, so we go up to a gate with a lock and I pick it with a paperclip and pull it open. Before we enter, we decide to continue up the hill rather than enter the home. On our way up we pass a family and a small girl in the group sees us and makes a remark that expresses her disgust/fear, I find the peculiarity of the scenario hilarious.

I'm outside an enormous library/supermarket and I'm singing a song from a deck chair to a family very tunefully. They are impressed, but then I sing a very untuneful song on purpose and one of them is very upset by it and gets angry. She tells me to square-up with one of the larger members. He looks at me and at the woman unenthusiastically as if he doesn't really want to fight. I pretend to stab him in the abdomen with my pen knife and the group looks shocked. There is screaming and one of them cries out the man's name.

I head inside the store and begin shopping, there are no lights on so I use a torch I brought to scan the shelves for items. I have to leave my headphones and my college notes at the door because they aren't allowed in. As I walk into the store I keep my torch trained on my belongings at the door to make sure the family doesn't trash my things in retaliation.

I'm running around the store to try and grab my things quickly, the floor is smooth and I'm wearing socks, I slide into my turns in order to make my way around the store at speed more efficiently. I find my self in the textbook section of the store, I scan the shelves and see the labels of the school years and their respective textbooks.

Other things remembered: Heroin [Note]

16th April 2020

Unconscious and driven to Truro from somewhere without any clothes, I woke up confused as there was no-one in the car and the streets where deserted except for one man. I went up to him and ask him if he has any clothes to hand, he gives me a towel, I say thank you and we part. I walk through town with the towel wrapped around my waist and thinking that I quite liked my arms and I should stop wearing long sleeves so much. I head towards a friend's house.

I arrive at the house late in the evening and there are many people I know there. I sleep on the couch. In the morning I wake and everyone is going about their day in the room. I get up and once again ask for some clothes. Someone tells me that there are some upstairs I can wear. I choose a pair of khaki green track suit bottoms and a shirt.

Buying aerosols from the store with a girl so that we can set them on fire. We head around to the back of the store and make out until we fall onto the floor, I look at her face and think to myself how beautiful she is. [Note]

15th April 2020

My Chinese degree was approved and I drop all other course choices to persue it. I'm in class and I'm chatting with a girl I'd slept with about nothing in particular. (I don't recognise her from my waking life.)

Tom addey is there, he tells me Ross was supposed to be born in 1978 but wasn't because his mother died and his grandma had to have him instead. [Note]

11th April 2020

A girl I know is over at my house and we're lying down clothesless in bed, having a conversation about the sky. I ask her if she is asexual or had considered she might be, she compares sex to something specific. (I'm unsure of the specifics but I recall it gave me the impression that she was asexual, but she was uncertain herself.) I hold her arms and pull her closer to me, we go to kiss but she moves at the last moment and kisses my cheek.

Later on, we decide to rearrange my room, my desk looks like Lola's. During the rearrangement we open my window and wind fills the room. Leaves dance around in a swirling column of air that brushes the walls. The air is not cold and the scene is beautiful as the orange-brown leaves tentatively trace the edges of the breeze.

The next day, me and Lucy are being asked to go on a walk by our Mum. We head into the estate behind my house and eventually reach a field where there is the option to turn right into a woods or left across a hilly moor. Lucy insists the way is across the moor. I am certain however, having done the walk before, the way is through the forest. [Note]

6th April 2020

I spend time making a windchime from metal tubes and decide to put it up on the arch in my front porch. Morgan and George arrive and they keep knocking their heads on the wind chime because they are so tall.

At someone I know's house and I'm in her bed whilst she is downstairs. Her mother walks in unnanounced and I announce my presence by saying goodmorning as confidently as I can to avoid the situation becoming awkward. [Note]

4th April 2020

I'm scuba diving through an underwater cave, rising up slowly through a large vertical column of rock. The water is crystal clear. I get to the surface of the pool that makes the mouth of the cave and the hot sun hits my face as I remove my diving gear. I swim over to the corner of the pool where there is a slightly submerged outcrop of rock covered in a soft, thick green moss. I remember this is where Lola and I spent our time when we first met. The water is warm and still. I recall the memory and smile.

Before long, waves begin to flow over the pool and disturb the water. Swimmers are entering the pool to take advantage of the new surf. I decide to leave the pool and head off into the sea to find Lucy. She is jumping about in the water wearing a snorkeling mask and I go over to spend time with her. We get a single bodyboard and decide to catch a wave on it. We squeeze onto the board as an enourmous wave takes it. I jump on, and she jumps onto my back and we're carried into shore. [Note]

2nd April 2020

In a classroom, teacher seems nice but somewhat stupid, the people from Kea school are there. The teacher sends me out to get energy drinks for him. On my way out the room I see there is a giant stand of energy drinks near the exit of the classroom. I get sidetracked going to get them and another member of the class comes and gets me to tell me that the teacher wants me to return to class. I do, but to not want to appear that I've been wasting time, so I grab a pack of energy drinks from the pile at the door on my way back in. I give them to the teacher and sit down at the front of the class.

At some point the teacher decides to do a demonstration where he intentionally pours energy drinks on the floor, he pours them over my bag and I say nothing and move my bag away, silently furious that my bag is covered in sticky energy drink. He is getting increasingly animated and I feel afraid. I am drinking a can of energy drink and feeling the effects intensely. The class has become incredibly agitated, people are throwing themselves around the room with much more momentum than my own body could ever have, I feel small compared to everyone else. The teacher takes part as well as he gets increasingly agitated and vocal.

He keeps yelling "At least I'm not X!" (X being random derogatory terms.) as a friend and I try and film what is happening on our phones so that we can report what is happening to another teacher. The teacher sees me doing this and everything stops and all is silent. The man comes up to me slowly and keeps repeating "You can't do that. You can't do that." in a flat and whispering tone. By this point the man's appearance is increasingly disgusting, he is sweaty and thick black hairs sparsely cover his body.

I try and slip past him but he jumps up and squats in my face: "I'm not a sweaty pedophile!" He yells amongst other phrases. I grab his head and try to slam his temples against the corner of a desk. It is incredibly difficult and there is huge resistance from the enormous man. I eventually tap the sides of his head against the corner with little speed, but this seems adequate to kill the man. I leave.

On my way out I have a conversation with two other kids and we start talking about quality of vision, one says his vision is poor and he wears glasses. I am shocked and ask why. He says it's because "his head got stuck on the way out" (When being born.) I look at him and his friend and see their brow ridges are a strange shape. [Note]

18th March 2020

Walking around in crowded place when suddenly a humming fills the air. Everyone looks up to see the sun emenating a much reduced light than it would normally. The sun starts shrinking, slowly at first but with a rapdidly increasing rate. It disappears, having flown of into space. Everyone is confused and surrounded by complete darkness. Phone torches appear, lighting up individuals and their paths towards shelter. This continues for some time until the phones one by one start dying and the population is once again plunged into total and impenetrable darkness. [Note]

4th June 2019

Dreamt I was in a jungle looking down at a stream about 10 foot down a steep slope. There was a man tied up in a tree and I spoke to him breifly before a pig like screaming came from the stream and a figure with a pigs head appeared from the undergrowth. I ask the man what it is and he explains that it's going to kill him and that someone else in a wingsuit tied him up. I leave to escape the pig man and sprint of the side of a cliff and open my own wingsuit. Im gliding through the air at incredible speed and seem to be in complete control of the flight, it was very intuitive.

I fly past the cliffs of the jungle, huge shear grey rocks with foliage pouring over the precipice of the cliff. Below, the forest was green and unending. I could see the green forest like a flowing river as each of the trees swayed in the wind.

As I was flying I could see men with weapons climbing across vines hanging from the canopy that hung over the edge of the cliffs, I assumed they were heading to the same place as the pig man. Eventually I fly past the last cliff face and glide for some time over the lower forest. I see the sea in the distance and the sand bank and circle a couple of times to lose speed so I can pull my parachute and land myself.

Once on the ground I meet the others and greet them. I ask a blonde girl who looks like Tibby about the man in the tree and she replies with something difficult to understand, I am unintrerested in finding out what she said so I thank her and walk away before sitting down on the beach and watching the forest under the cliffs undulate like the sea around me in the wind. [Note]

2nd May 2019

Walking around city with a girl at night, the buildings are lit by very pale moonlight. I'm carrying a ginger root and am eating it as we walk around. I need to find a toilet so we look for a building that has one. We approach a large grey door rest ajar under an overhanging segment of a skyscraper. The girl says we shouldn't go in but I insist it's fine.

As I go to walk in I hear a dog growl and decide not to go in. There is an enourmous dog guarding the door. It's stood up on four legs and looks at me until I step away from the door. I walk out into the area infront of the skyscraper and see there are many large german-shepards sitting like sphynxes arranged in rectanglular patterns. It is very calm and the air is still and warm, I feel at peace. Whenever I stepped somewhere I shouldn't the offended dog would stand and make a commanding, but non-aggressive growl. [Note]

23rd April 2019

At family gathering, my immediate family are all there and many non-immediate members are also present. There is a talk and a meal. After this my family go on a walk to a nearby beach. We walk along and begin to realise the danger posed by the crashing waves and the sea wall we're walking between. I turn back and see Lucy is trapped on some rocks and I turn to my Dad and say "Are you sure that's safe for your daughter?" He insists it is and we continue to the end of the beach.

We return to the family gathering to find it deserted with only a long line of skeletal figures standing infront of the reception and trailing around to the dining area. (The layout was near identical to the Kenwyn building's reception.) Instantaneously the room is completely submerged and the skeletal figures break apart. We return to my grandparents house. [Note]

3rd April 2019

Me and two others are robbing an antiques store, there is yelling and shouting from staff and our group. I grab an ornate pole with a flat sphere at one end and the head of a dragon at the other. It was decorated with intricate gold and opal patterns. I swing the pole around violently, bringing it down against furniture and plants. Splintered wood and smashed porcelain fly through the air. The police come in and we easily subdue them with swinging maces fashioned from items in the store.

We make our way out of the store into the lamp-lit streets and attack a group of passers by. We bludgeon their heads before moving onto another store and repeating the events in the first store. At this point I inspect the dragon headed pole, some paint has chipped but it is otherwise undamaged.

Next we find ourslelves in an office building, it is lit with harsh white light and the walls are white and grey. We walk down a portion of the corridor with a downward slope, which I found easy to slip on because I was wearing socks. There is a man sat at a desk about to make sexual advances on a group of children across the corridor. I swing my weapon through the air, landing it in the centre of the left side of his head. The weapon embeds itself in his skull as it caves it in and he slumps from the chair. Our group begins smashing his desk.

I inspect a damaged book and feel bad for damaging it because it wasn't actually related to the man. Inside there are many drawrings of snakes and another member of the group convinces me that the book was related to the man and was therefore bad. [Note]

2nd April 2019

Dad is driving me to a party. It's late and he's clearly annoyed. I see Jenna working a new job in the bank, she's killing time by walking around a revolving door. I tell Dad to stop the car and I get out and walk over to her and through the revolving doors to say hello to her and ask her how she is. I go to the back of the bank, where there are others getting ready for the party. We say Hello.

I had told Dad I'd be five minutes which is a promise I'd not kept thanks to finding other freinds. Dad drives to the back entrance and sits down. I walk out to meet him. I could see him, because like much of the bank, the back was made of glass. He says he is annoyed I took so long. I tell him something like: "Just because you chose to dedicate your life to a child that didn't perform, that gives you no right to be angry with me." While I jab my finger at him in full view of those getting ready inside the bank. I feel embarrased. I turn and walk away except when I turn around to accept an embrace it is Mum.

We're back in the car and Dad is still driving. We drive to a McDonalds with an extremely complex road system around it. I get out and get lost and walk towards the road system entrance. My phone is dead, I can't contact Dad.

I wander for a long time until I find the car, where I find Dad and Lucy. Lucy is asking for 100 pounds to pay back someone's drug money. [Note]

1st April 2019

See pogo stick on advert and go to buy one with two freinds. We drive to the store, on the journey I practice my Chinese. After getting the pogo sticks we walk back up the hill and find longboards, we use them to go down the hill a distance then walk back. One friend is sat in the front garden and the other is with me with their pogo stick. Everytime the pogo stick bounces it releases air like an aerosol can. It makes a warning sound as it runs out. [Note]

30th March 2019

I and others are trapped in an institute surrounded by hilly plains covered in grass and dotted with light grey rocks. Someone tries to escape in a stolen vehicle during free time. Armed soldiers are sent after them. The escapees shoot back at the soldiers. One is hit in the head and chest. His suit is on fire and his helmet is cracked. He pulls the suit apart at the waist and rolls into a river, which has currents much stronger than he expected and is swept away.

A shark glides past him as he is pulled into an underground river. He is pulled into an underground cave and sees some vines. He stares at the vines until suddenly an eye opens through them. The vines shift away, revealing themselves as a smaller part of an emourmous monster. [Note]

29th March 2019

Went to Monty's house, the inside was identical to my grandparents but with extensions where the exits would normally be and where the windows upstairs would be. Needed to find advice on medical procedure. (NB: This is around the time I spoke to Monty about antidepressants.) At some point his Mum welcomes me and offers tea. I decline.

Later a man I have angered comes into my room and tries to trash my belongings. I subdue him and beat the back of his head with a hammer and leave him in my parents room. After, I inspect all my belongings and their details. I look at a tiny pair of scissors, a plant and stationary pots. [Note]

27th March 2019

Talking to Lola at the eden project at sunset, we mention how the light coming through the hexagons is beautiful. There is a soft gradient of colour across each hexagon and a main gradient that was moving up the walls of the biome from deeper colours to lighter ones as my eyes traced the floor to the celing.

Next me and Lola are injecting peanut butter into the floor at my house and we are working on injecting the peanut butter into the floor in a grid in my room. Mat comes in and offers drinks and food. Lola has pancakes and I have hot chocolate with potato.

Suddenly we realise huge walls with the appearance of those at eden were closing in on us from all directions. We know if they passed us we would die. As the walls close we find ourselves in the kitchen. I grab Ruby and hold her firmly against my chest, we squeeze together as the walls drew closer and closer until they formed a tight circle around us. We close our eyes hoping that their progression would stop. They stop with no space for movement and a voice tells us we've won. We then have to report our "class" to something through a floating hologram. [Note]

24th March 2019

Walking around town with Zach, rain is torrential, there is a river running down the street. There is a man swimming past the HSBC bank. I suggest we go to the carpark to get out the rain, Zach says it's still raining on the roof, I tell him I meant to go to a lower layer. We are talking about things that are bothering zach.

Next day me and my Mum are talking and decide to drive to Victoria Gardens after, which were now in Truro school. We could not get in because there was not an entrance so we drive around the outside. We eventually get to the train station where I get out and walk on the path outside the platform. The gate to the platform was raised and definitely not wheelchair accesible.

The next day I didn't eat because I had already eaten today's food yesterday. [Note]

23rd March 2019

Talking to Kat whilst walking around the top of a seating area like the ones at sports games set into a hill. She was opening up and talking about her eating disorder and other things that bothered her. We sit down because my foot hurts. I remove my shoe and there is an awful blister the size of a buboe on the arch of my foot.

I realise there is one in my mouth when i try to speak, attempting to ask for a pin to pop it with. I pinch the buboe and brown grey paste spews from my mouth like vomit twice. I find a grey frog in the vomit. We needed six of these grey frogs to hand to the old and slightly fat lady, who was leading the group that we were part of investigating a large old abbandoned house, in order to leave the group early and head home. [Note]

21st March 2019

Went to CERN on invitation because of interest, went down a large elevator when I got there with two people - a tour guide and a company official. At the bottom of the elevator we met a larger group of people being shown around. The space between the door of the room we were in and the office dividers was small.

One of the tour guides pointed at a row of computers behind glass with wires set inside it, like the ones you might see in security glass. Researchers were moving around in white coats in the room. I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard, in a light european accent, "excuse me", before I moved to the side to let three scientists in white coats walk past and down the corridor formed between the glass window and the office dividers.

Other things remebered: Skincare, bondage and running out of oat milk. [Note]

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